CRAPTOWN, PA — After publishing a headline about how he had to put an editor’s note explaining satire after every satirical article he writes because average Americans have the same critical thinking skills as rocks, a local satirist is facing backlash from the rock community.
“We in the mineral community are deeply offended by Mr. Satirist’s statement,” said Dr. Igneous Pebble, founder of the National Association for the Advancement of Diagenetic Sediment (NAADS) and head of the Petrology Department at the University of Colorado Boulder. “It is a well-known fact that rocks score higher on all intelligence tests when compared with average Americans.”
There are calls from the rock community for the satirist to be stoned to death.
“Joke’s on them,” said the satirist in an Instagram video. “I’m stoned all the time.”
Editor’s Note: The article you just read was, of course, a piece of satire. As Dan Dellechiaie’s editor I must include this note at the end of every article because people lack common sense, a sense of humor, and a fashion sense and could sue Mr. Dellechiaie for telling fictional truths about them. Send all death threats, character assassinations, and love letters to 10 Dropdead Avenue, Apt. #GFY Topeka, Kansas 00000.